lucky me...

i can't believe how lucky i am. i get to stay home every day and hang out with my kid. really didn't know it would be like this- thought for some crazy reason that i would feel unfulfilled. cj does something new every day- i laugh all of the time- in the early morning when he's hungry and cody's gone to work, i pull ceej into bed with me and we fall back to sleep together- yesterday i woke up and he was smiling at me with his arms stretched over his head- just waiting for me to open my eyes- i feel sad for women that have to leave their babes with someone else- it's so fleeting- i'm looking at his pajamas with the rhino's on the feet- they're too small for him now- my heart is in my throat. today we were laying under the tree in our front yard and cj was kicking his feet and waving his arms frantically- trying so hard to say something. can't wait to hear what he has to say- hard to believe it only took nine months to make this sweet, perfect boy.